Straight from the Heart: Introverted vs. Extraverted Feeling

Like many people with a preference for intuition and thinking, my husband doesn’t quite grasp the concept of greeting cards. They’re just pieces of paper with other people’s sentiments printed on them, right? Logically, I see his point. But with my preference for intuition and feeling, I place a lot of value on the symbolism of greeting cards (and on the symbolism of not giving a loved one a greeting card for a special occasion).

Given my INFJ preference, I communicate with the world through extraverted feeling, which focuses on building and maintaining relationships and social networks. I love giving greeting cards, and I especially enjoy blank cards that allow me to write my own message rather than adding my signature to someone else’s. When I receive greeting cards, I read them eagerly. But after a few days, I throw them out. The emotion has been expressed and received, so the card has served its purpose.

My husband, on the other hand, keeps the greeting cards he receives—sometimes for years. And he doesn’t stick them in a drawer somewhere. He displays them where he can see them and read them.

As an INTJ, my husband introverts his feeling function. Introverted feeling focuses on values, integrity, and appropriateness. It’s  less expressive but more sentimental than extraverted feeling. So even though my husband may not think to give greeting cards, the ones he receives are special to him.

So I try not to get upset if he doesn’t give me a card for a birthday or anniversary. The fact that he values the cards I give him tells me all I need to know.

Want to know if your feeling function is introverted or extraverted? TJs and FPs have introverted feeling, while FJs and TPs use extraverted feeling.

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6 thoughts on “Straight from the Heart: Introverted vs. Extraverted Feeling

  1. I’m an Intj female who gets a bad rap for being too dry and unfeeling. That’s why people are always so surprised that I hold onto old photos and cards, and even display them so that I might enjoy them for years. But it’s more than the fact that I enjoyed them, they’re important. Good post.

  2. This is pretty funny to read, as right behind my computer monitor are several year’s worth of greeting cards from different holidays and celebrations. I was shocked when you said that you throw out your cards after a few days. Unthinkable! 🙂

  3. I love hearing that other INTJs hold on to greeting cards. It just goes to show that thinking types aren’t unfeeling. They just express feeling differently, especially if it’s introverted. TJs are often misunderstood in this way. But when you do get to see their soft side, it’s particularly endearing, by virtue of being hidden.

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