Author: Andrea

Romance and women's fiction author.

The INFJ Personality and the Search for the Perfect Relationship

~ Andrea ~ 16 Comments

According to PersonalityDesk.com, INFJs are the Myers-Briggs type most likely to express marital dissatisfaction. When I first read this, it puzzled me. After all, INFJs are adept at solving problems involving people.

In fact, INFJs are so good at solving problems that they may unconsciously scan their environment looking for ways to improve relationships. This, I think, is what leads to the dissatisfaction.

According to Dr. Phil, 90% of relationship problems can’t be solved. Why? Because it would require one person or the other to compromise their values. So the best a couple can do is to agree to disagree.

INFJs don’t want people to compromise their values—yet that 90% statistic is bound to discourage INFJs like me. I suspect it isn’t the relationship problems themselves that lead to the INFJs’ dissatisfaction; it’s the fact that the problems can’t be solved. Perhaps the INFJs feel that if only they could be more creative, or their partner could be more flexible, the little annoyances that have existed since the first day of the relationship could be eliminated. Not so. No amount of skill or understanding will make naturally ingrained differences go away.

Perhaps this is what draws me to writing women’s fiction. I can create relationship problems, which I can then go about solving, without hurting anyone but my fictional characters in the process. Real life, unfortunately, doesn’t work that way. The INFJs’ search for perfection can damage otherwise good relationships. So I propose a revised Serenity Prayer for INFJs: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Period.

Related posts:
The INFJ Writing Personality: Eloquent Vision
The Truth About the Myers-Briggs Personality Types

Writing and Creativity: Going Outward to Go Inward

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Over the past six weeks, I’ve been doing something I rarely do in the evenings: watching television. Mainly the History Channel and NatGeo—I’ve learned a lot about how the earth was formed and what John of Patmos was really writing about in the Book of Revelation. I suppose I could feel guilty that I haven’t gotten as much writing done as I otherwise would have. But I don’t.

Why? Because writers need to replenish. It’s easy for writers to get locked up in their own heads. If their inward focus becomes too extreme, they won’t have anything interesting to write about. Or they’ll keep writing about the same things over and over again, with no new ideas to freshen their work.

By exposing myself to subjects that I rarely encounter in my own life—like earth science, history, and theology—I reignite my curiosity. I doubt that I’ll have use for these subjects in my writing. But they’ve gotten me thinking in new ways about human resiliency. Will our race be wiped out by a giant asteroid hitting the earth, or perhaps by an epic battle between good and evil on the fields of Megiddo? I’m skeptical.

I believe humans can, and will, overcome anything—maybe not as individuals, but as a species. The record of our time on earth demonstrates how we continually adapt to the challenges we face. This is what drives me. At the core of my fiction is a fervent belief in human resiliency—a belief I want to share.

It’s good for writers to be reminded of why they write—and to remember that the themes that permeate their writing grow out of other, seemingly unrelated parts of their life. New ideas and experiences nourish you as a writer. Take the time to embrace them.

Do you have any tips on how writers can renew their creativity? Leave a comment!

Can the U.S. Possess?

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I received a question from a reader this week about how to express the possessive of U.S. Several possibilities exist, including the following:

  • U.S.’s
  • US’s
  • US’

My instinct was to choose U.S.’s, but I consulted my usual sources to be sure. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any guidance on how to form the possessive of an abbreviation that ends with an s followed by a period. (While both U.S. and US are acceptable abbreviations, U.S. is more common in the United States and US in the rest of the world.)

What I did find, though, is that when a proper noun is used as an adjective, it’s not a possessive, and therefore doesn’t require an apostrophe. So, for example, it would be proper to write U.S. interests rather than U.S.’s interests. My recommendation is to follow this usage and avoid the problem of the possessive altogether. For instance, instead of writing the U.S.’s first president, you could use the first U.S. president. It looks much cleaner.

If United States is spelled out, the possessive is formed with an apostrophe but no s (for example, The United States’ first president was George Washington.) Since United States is plural in formation, it’s treated as a plural noun, even though it’s singular in usage.

I submitted a question to the Chicago Style Q&A to see what they recommend for the possessive of U.S. If they answer it, I’ll update this post with their reply.

Self-Published Books: Designing for Readability

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Good design makes reading more relaxing.

Self-publishing has made it easier than ever for authors to get their words into print. However, many authors of self-published books have little or no training in page layout. The design principles of desktop publishing can help you improve readability and customer satisfaction. Help build a loyal following with these six techniques:

1. Use white space.

When you’re paying to publish a book, every square millimeter is precious real estate.  But white space isn’t wasted space. White space gives the readers’ eyes a place to rest. More importantly, it gives their mind a place to rest, so they can reflect on what they’ve read. This enhances the learning process so that readers will retain more.

To provide white space, use adequate margins.  Favor short paragraphs over long ones. Consider page breaks at the end of sections. The small increase in cost will dramatically improve readability. Continue reading “Self-Published Books: Designing for Readability” →

Breaking the Rules: Question Marks in Dialogue and Informal Communication

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When it comes to writing, rules can be a wonderful thing. They help ensure consistency, and they relieve writers from having to make endless decisions about mundane questions like which punctuation mark to use. Sometimes, though, usage rules can get in the way of clear communication. In creative writing or informal communication like email, writers have the freedom to reject those rules if they don’t find them useful.

The rules say to use a question mark in the following situations:

  • At the end of a direct question: Whose meatball is that?
  • To express doubt or uncertainty: Leona was born in 1960[?], which would mean her current age is 49.
  • To express confusion or disbelief: You call that a sandwich?

According to the Chicago Manual of Style, a “courtesy question” does not require a question mark. For example, “Will you please remove your shoes before entering the sanctuary” is a statement, not a question.

In Modern American Usage, Bryan Garner puts it this way: “A question mark follows every question that expects an answer.”

Sometimes, though, I expect an answer even if I don’t phrase the sentence as a question. Consider the following: “I wonder if I have time to stop at the post office before lunch?” This is the reverse of a courtesy question: it’s a question phrased as a statement. What I mean is, “I want to stop at the post office before lunch. Do you mind?” But this phrasing makes it awkward for someone to say, “I’ve got a 1:00 meeting.  I was hoping everyone could be at the restaurant by noon.” So I cloak my desire in an absent sort of wondering to make it easier for someone to tell me no. Continue reading “Breaking the Rules: Question Marks in Dialogue and Informal Communication” →

Hooking the Reader: It’s Not Rocket Science

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I hate to contradict Rodgers and Hammerstein, but the beginning is not a very good place to start. Whether you’re writing a biography or describing a bird, the best place to start is with the most interesting features.

Before naturalist Roger Tory Peterson came along, a typical description of a robin started at the tip of the beak and ended at the tip of the tail. It wasn’t until you were halfway through the description that you learned a robin has a red breast. Peterson changed that. As the inventor of the modern field guide, he used descriptions that focused on distinguishing characteristics, so birders could accurately identify different species.

Likewise in a biography, start out with what makes the individual unique. Here’s an example of a rather uninspiring biographical note from a portrait at the San Diego Air and Space Museum:

Wernher Von Braun
Rocket Scientist
Born Wirsitz, Germany, 23 March 1912. As chief scientist at the Peenemunde
Rocket Center in Germany, developed the first long range ballistic missile, the V-2.

Before I even get to the interesting part (that he invented the first long-range ballistic missile), I’ve already stopped caring. Impatient readers might stop reading. I’d rewrite this note as follows:

Wernher Von Braun
Rocket Scientist
Developed the first long range ballistic missile, the V-2, while chief scientist at the
Peenemunde Rocket Center in Germany. Born Wirsitz, Germany, 23 March 1912.

In the very first sentence, give readers something to care about. Capture their imagination. Propel them into the second sentence, then into the third. Today’s readers filter the mass of material that confronts them. You have a few seconds to convince readers that your story, article, or paper is worth their time. Don’t waste a sentence. Don’t waste a word. Compel them to read.

Dialogue: Getting to the Point

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couple talking
Dialogue captures the essence of conversation.

With NaNoWriMo coming to a close, it’s time to start thinking about editing your first draft. Here are some tips to help make your dialogue sing.

Use boring dialogue tags

Many beginning writers look for alternatives to said, such as stated, exclaimed, averred, or expounded. The problem is, these alternatives draw attention to themselves and away from the dialogue. Generally, it’s best to stick with asked and said. They’re invisible, so they don’t sound repetitive to the reader. That doesn’t mean that you can’t occasionally use words like whispered or interjected where relevant. But be judicious. Continue reading “Dialogue: Getting to the Point” →

Writing Effective Sex Scenes (Without Embarassing Yourself or Others)

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In honor of NaNoWriMo, I’m tackling a subject that many beginning novelists find challenging: sex scenes.  Sex scenes require finesse and attention to craft, but they don’t have to be difficult to write.  Just keep in mind the purpose that they serve.

Like any other scene, sex scenes must do the following:

  • advance the plot
  • develop the characters
  • create a mood
  • leave the reader wondering what will happen next

Love in a cave
Sex scenes work best when much is left to the reader's imagination.

Sex scenes do not require detailed description of the action.  One of the cardinal rules of writing fiction is that you should never tell readers something they already know.  Readers already know that characters have certain body parts, and that during sex, those body parts will interact in certain ways. Unless you want to stress something that’s unusual about the body parts or the interaction, you can avoid mentioning them altogether. Implication is sufficient.  The readers’ imagination will fill in the rest.

What does interest readers is how the characters feel about the action. Are they blissful, bored, insecure, or confident? Is the protagonist hoping that this is the man she’ll spend the rest of her life with, or is she mentally composing a grocery list?

As in any other scene, sensory detail is important. Again, you don’t have to tell readers what sex feels like; assuming that you’re writing for adults, most of them already know. Instead, choose details that are specific to the character. Does the protagonist notice that her lover’s sheets are cheap and rough, whereas she’s used to 300-thread-count cotton? Does that make him less attractive to her? Or does she think he just needs a good woman to teach him about the finer things in life? If the latter, do you, as the author, want this to be a warning sign to readers that the protagonist is blind to how incompatible the couple is? Or do you want to show that they complement each other—that they’re both open to growth? Focus on how the action of the scene ties into the larger action of the novel.

Sex scenes can be emotionally intense.  They often show characters at their most vulnerable. They can be turning points in a relationship or a novel. Remember that sex scenes are about character, not about sex, and approach them without fear.

Forceable vs. Forcible

~ Andrea ~ 2 Comments

library shelfMicrosoft Word 2003 tried to tell me today that forceable in the phrase forceable input should read forcible. But I’ve never been one to take Word’s word for anything. I checked a few online dictionaries and received little guidance. Most didn’t list forceable. Those that did, however, didn’t indicate that it was a variant of forcible.  Only that it was the adjective form of force. So what’s the relationship between these two words? Is forcible the preferred spelling?

Thank goodness for Bryan Garner. In Modern American Usage, he explains that forceable is not, in fact, a needless variant. Forcible means “effected by physical force against resistance,” as in forcible entry. By contrast, forceable simply means “able to be forced.” So in technical writing, an input that can be forced to change state is forceable.

Fowler’s Modern English Usage highlights other words where the meaning changes depending on whether the -able or -ible suffix is used. For instance, a disease is contractable, but elastic is contractible. Tea is infusable (infuse+able), while rubies are infusible (in+fusible). Many dictionaries seem to be losing these subtle distinctions, choosing one spelling or the other for both meanings. Let’s hope that Microsoft Word doesn’t become the ultimate arbiter.

Words Matter

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What you see depends on where you stand
What you see depends on where you stand

Europe has what we do not have yet, a sense of the mysterious and inexorable limits of life, a sense, in a word, of tragedy. And we have what they sorely need—a sense of life’s possibilities. ~ James Arthur Baldwin

Americans were mystified yesterday by the news that Barack Obama had been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.  Europe, looking at the United States through its longer lens, sees the U.S. president differently than we do close up.

The Nobel committee praised Obama “for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples.” Americans asked, what extraordinary efforts? Maybe he’s given some nice speeches, but what has he done?

The Nobel committee chair offered some clues in Friday’s announcement. “Those who are to lead the world must do so on the basis of values and attitudes that are shared by the majority of the world’s population. For 108 years, the Norwegian Nobel Committee has sought to stimulate precisely the international policy and those attitudes for which Obama is now the world’s leading spokesman.”

The committee chose Obama because he uses his position to champion the values they affirm. But can spokesmanship change the world? Do words matter? Continue reading “Words Matter” →